A beautiful mind and a restless soul...

Serendipity brought you to me, I've never felt so lucky before our paths crossed
I wasn't even looking, yet there you were and I was never the same after
Like rain to end a drought you drenched me with a feeling of being whole,
giving me wings to soar, and explore the life that I thought was already complete.

You think too much and it drives you and the people around you insane
yet I find it interesting how you contradict everything, even your own thoughts.
But on a good day you overwhelm me with your generosity and your understanding,
you spread happiness like a rash and your smile can slow down time to a halt.

When you dream you dream big and I look forward to every adventure that I let you
drag me in to, even when your dreams make my life a nightmare there's no place I'd rather be.
You give me strength to be a better person, and you're the only one who can make a monster
out of me, but without you there wouldn't be any reason for me to feel happiness or sadness.

You are the one, my dearest one, the last piece of my puzzle,
you are my thorn as well as my crown, you can't have one without the other.
you cause unimaginable pain, and the most glorious experience I've ever known
I will always love your beautiful mind... and take long walks with your restless soul...

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What we've got here is failure to communicate

It amazes me sometimes to know that educated people can still be so naive, giving in to their emotions like giving in to their cravings for food or vices, not knowing or realizing or blatantly ignoring the fact that their actions have consequences. To know that you've done something wrong is a way to be educated by life that you wouldn't receive from any expensive academic program. And to ignore this and not take any responsibilities is the way of those who were sheltered from the tragedies of our existence.

I pity anyone who could go on living their lives as if it revolves around them, Like everything that's happening around is their fault or was caused to make their lives miserable. I know a sure way of finding out if this is true for anyone who doubts this. Try to kill yourself and see if the world would stop on it's tracks to remember you. Your family may stop their regular routine, for a week! And your friends might remember you from time to time, but the sun will still shine in the east every morning and set in the west whether you're here or trapped in your own personal misery.

Sometimes you just have to admit you're wrong and be human enough to take responsibilities about all your decisions otherwise you have to justify your actions and defend your ideas. I'm very sad and frustrated to the point of being enraged at how some people just burst into your life like a disaster who would have the guts to try to steal everything that's important to you but are afraid to stand up for themselves.

I think it's because deep inside they were all just delusions, everything they thought is true are just a product, not even, more likely a residue of a compact community that created all their insecurities which feed on the innocent whom they exploit because "THEY" think that's how smart people do it...

Shheesshh... If you think I'm talking to you It's because I am. You may not want to hear this but you need to, and be thankful that I'm giving you a piece of my mind for free because being a pain in the ass that you are almost cost me the rest of my life...

And finally if you're bored get a hobby or read a book and be enlightened don't bother watching those cheap teeny bopper love story movies that only makes you dumber than you already are. Life is more serious than how you came to know it so try to see that there is always more to it than what you already know... learn some more and move on... enjoy your life, I'm not glad to have played a bit part in it, but you left me no choice... but this is definitely the end.

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A Storm is Brewing

Hold on? or let go, how do we know when the time is up? That we've exhausted all our resources as human beings to absorb emotional conflicts? There are certain things in life that once broken can never be fixed, an emotional death is like the real death when it passes it can never come back. No reason or logic can be sufficient for us to understand this, all I know is that the effects on each individual is different and I may not be an expert on this but I am suffering from it. And all I have is this space to share my sorrow, I'm in mourning... I'm angry... enraged... I feel betrayed and there is nothing I can do about it but go on... live my life like nothing is wrong, because it can never be right ever again.

Why me? I'm not special I'm just a regular person and just like everyone else I'm not equipped to face the storm that is brewing inside of me. We all suffer from feelings like happiness, love, anger and hate, I have the three except happiness. I will never be complete again, the void that this created is too big to be filled up by time unless I live to be more than a hundred. And who wants that!?

I guess it is time, for me to give back to life what I have taken from it, it's been a great ride. I'm not saying that I wont do it all over again because that's what we do with life we live through it, despite all the nasty things that happens to us while were alive even if it means being a living dead. Eat, Sleep, Go to Work, Have Fun and Suffer...

I did not invite you here, but if you happen to be passing by, Welcome to my Emotional Funeral...

As the closest person who have contact with my emotions, I have a few things to say about it before I let it rest in peace...

My emotion was always fragile as long as I can remember, we had good times together, we played a lot as kids sharing my innocence, getting into fights, making new friends... During my teens it got complicated, always angry and resentful of everything we do or done to us, trying to take charge of me so I let it bully me for awhile. As we got older it learned to mellow out, it found a new life so to speak and we were happy and content. It was the good times for us. I thought we will be together for the rest of my life. But it got sick somehow and it's all my fault, we agreed to never invest on any one thing, because that's how you get emotional cancer with disappointments. That was how we did it after we gained more understanding of life we never give out everything to be protected, so that if we lose on one thing we still have a few left that we can allow to grow. But one day I convinced my emotion that life is all about risks and it wouldn't be living if were always playing it safe. We needed to be strong and let go of our fears. That's how it got sick, because of me... I shared my emotions to the last person I thought would harm it. But I'm not sorry because my emotion lived a full life and found happiness before it was taken from me. My tears no longer has a taste, we are here to say goodbye to my emotion and as a parting gift I will leave you the flavor of my tears so that wherever you may roam you will have a piece of me with you. No more suffering you are free from all feelings, and though in time I may fill the void that you will leave it would never be enough for me to forget you, it would never be enough for me to be complete. Thank You I'm letting you go.

And to all who came, welcome to the winter of my discontent...

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